| CHASTITY IN THE CITY by Chastity Frustration past issues |
Over the years I have heard my fair share of pick up lines and I must say it is funny when you go back and think about the lines that were used on me. People come up with the strangest things to say when they are trying to get someone into bed, either for a one night stand or for something more meaningful. Over the last couple of weeks I have heard the strangest pick up lines ever. This is brought about a strange and fun situation while out in the clubs and the drag shows. The one that stands out the most is lines delivered to me in front of the Roxy Café. "Are you gay?" He asked Surprised, I said "Yes" "Its my birthday." he said. "That’s cool." I responded. "My father died yesterday." He said. Not knowing what to say. I said "That’s sad." "I’m lonely want to hook up?" He asked. Every time I get some sort of strange thing that happens to me, one of my friends says, "I could only happen to Chastity." The funny part about the man, that said this pick-up line on me, was he’s really cute. I would have probably taken him home, if the pick-up line was worth something. I have slept with someone who is going through life drama and have found it is not worth the time. More or less this pick-up line scared me. I must say I have found some pick-up line to work very well for me. Again this one happened in front of the Roxy. "You ’re cute." He said. "Thanks" I said. "How are you doing?" He asked. "Good. How are you this evening?" I Responded. "I would be better if I could kiss you." He told me. Proceeding this, I kissed him. This has been noted, by Miss Dawna, as Chastity’s 45 second pick-up. The sex was not all THAT, but I must say it has been entered into my "Greatest Sex-capades" list. It just goes to show that sometimes the approach is what is most important. Just to list other lines I have heard, some good, not so good and some just plain bad. "Let’s go and do that nasty thing you do so well" ," You’re the reason I commit sins of the flesh" ,"My mother warned me about girls like you, but again I never listened to my mother. Your place?", "You know I have never been with a woman of your gender" (motioning his hand to my crotch), "you in the bathroom now!" And "Normally my standards are higher, but you will do." I told you that some of the pick-up lines were not so good, but at least they are some kind of a complement (in a sick a twisted way). This leads me to the Funniest of all the pick-up line ever. This boy slide between my friend and myself and said, "You’re hot." "Thanks." I said. "Do you want to play?" At this point his friend started to drag him away. With him screaming "I really want to play with you but nobody will let me. You’re really hot" The most disappointing off all the pick-ups I have had, was the notorious MAX train scene. This man in his early 20’s was making great conversation me and lasted from the Gresham Transient Center to the Hollywood Transient Center. When to doors did not open upon the stopping of the train. This caught my attention and when I looked up the door opened and police came aboard, just as we setting up a date, placing him under arrest. Don’t get me wrong by all of this, I enjoy a good pick-up line or two. I just find it funny how some seem to work so well and others are just a bomb. I still must say I love the classic line of "I saw you from across the room and I just had to come meet a person a beautiful as yourself." Chastity Frustration First lady of the Embers Miss Sweetheart XIII Miss Gay Portland XXXI Visit www.chastityfrustration.com |
| IT COULD ONLY HAPPEN TO CHASTITY |
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