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| www.emberspdx.net |
| The Embers Online Magazine |
| CHASTITY IN THE CITY by Chastity Frustration past issues |
The subject of sex seems to be a common topic I have with my friends. There seems to be a magic question I hear over and over again : "Sex gets old after a while. What can I do to make it enjoyable again?" This is not an easy task to do. What couples often choose to do is to add another person to their sex life. This is not always the best thing to do, although it may work. A better choice may be to find games to play or toys to add. I am not talking about a game of scrabble, I am talking about foreplay and sex toys. This can bring a added something to the bedroom. So what is foreplay exactly? Foreplay can include a number of things from undressing, petting, kissing, and oral sex. This can do many different things for many different people. Foreplay can increase the male sexual arousal and also increase the stimulation in women. In most women, prolonged stimulation is needed in order to reach complete arousal. The nice thing about foreplay is there is no true ultimate way of doing it. There are no true buttons to press in any certain order. It is all about understanding your partner and what turns them on. You have to deliver this to them in such a way that it gets them stimulated. Foreplay is all in the mind and starts with the brain. By increasing the mental stimulation, you will increase the physical stimulation as well. Depending on what you are doing, setting the mood is a very important part of foreplay. This can be as simple as music, candles, and soft lighting. You can make it more complex such as picking a theme and playing it through the entire evening. I have heard many different types of role playing foreplay. These again can be done very simple or complex. You can order a dinner from a French or Italian restaurant, play music that would be played as if you were actually in another country. Create a one night honeymoon getaway in your own home. For different twist, you could create a gym style setting. The good old locker room fantasy. The ideas are endless and you just have to set it up mentally. This could be very fun. Sensual massage is another way to increase pleasure. There are many books and videos available out there for different types of massage. The video "Fire On The Mountain: Male Genital Massage", is a great example of how to do male genital massage. Massage techniques can be pleasurable for both partners. People seem to be a little shy when I comes to hand jobs. Explore his genital surface area, a man loves to have his penis worshiped. The video "Fire In The Valley: Female Genital Massage", is a great video that shows all sorts of techniques for pleasing women. Sex toys can be added to spark up a flame. There are many different types of toys that can be used on both men and women. Size of the toy is the biggest factor for most people. I will not bother going too far in to this, to big is to big and to small is to small. I suggest a person should take there partner with them or have a selection on hand. Toys get broken down into different types of groups. The first group is the "foreplay" group. These include dildos, vibrators, prostate stimulators and anal probes. The second group is the "leave in during action". These are the butt plug, strap-on, and cock rings. The third is the "pulled out during play". This includes anal beads and ribbed stimulators. All of these toys can be used to add excitement to the sex, especially if one partner needs to be pleased after the other partner has already reached sexual satisfaction. If you are using sex toys be sure to follow directions and practice safely. The number one thing that I read over and over again during my research, is the important of communication. Communicating is the most part in a relationship as well as in any sex act. You need to know what your partner wants and how to please them as well as letting your partner know how to please you. Enjoy life and enjoy each other. Have fun and be safe. Chastity Frustration First lady of the Embers Miss Sweetheart XIII Miss Gay Portland XXXI Visit www.chastityfrustration.com |
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