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| www.emberspdx.net |
| The Embers Online Magazine |
| CHASTITY IN THE CITY by Chastity Frustration |
In modern times and the progression of the sexual revolution, it is important to know what proper sexual behaving etiquette is. When I say this I don’t mean holding the door open for the lady to enter (although this is nice), I mean to be yourself and be honest. I am no expert on sexual behavior, but I can say I have been around enough to come close. I am not going to fiddle around with the subject or words so if you are sensitive, well I am sorry you will never have true etiquette. Sex is about several different things and can mean different things to different people. For far too long, we have separated life between the ideas of man and woman. This is not always true and can mislead people into what they want or desire. Lets start with a basic idea of sex. There are two basic groups of sex, making love and f***ing (I told you I was not going to fiddle around). I think making love is a communication thing. You communicate with a partner about the love you have between the two of you and you have sex as a joining union. You feel it is the best thing you have ever had, even though the sex may be actually unsatisfying. The emotional side of the sex act is the actual fulfilling part, not the physical part. F***ing on the other hand is a totally different thing; f***ing is the act of self-gratification. It is important to understand the difference, I don’t mean you have to use the word f***ing. The term f***ing, although it may seem a little rough or unkind, is actually just a way of saying “an unemotional sex act“, however you do not have to use this term as generously as I. The reason why it is important to understand the difference, is to communicate with your sexual partner about what you want. Remember it is not just you in the sexual act (excluding masturbation and auto-sex). Now that we have that out of the way, lets talk about the bedroom. How do you communicate about proper sexual protection? Condoms! Always use one. I personally have a basket on my headboard that contains condoms. I always have a variety of kinds of condoms, you never know if a person is allergic to latex and it can cause a problem if you only have latex. You should always have at least two polyurethane style condoms on hand. Polyurethane condoms can be very nice. They can be used with oil based lubes and also have more of a natural feeling (like not having anything on). I once heard from a friend of mine, that he thought that it was the bottoms (the one who receives) responsibility to have the lube. I told him that is not true. Everyone should carry lube with them if they plan on having sex. This is especially true if you are sensitive to different brands of types of lube. I once went home with this guy and found that he only had oil based lube and had no Polyurethane condoms. It was a good thing that I had a small container of ID Glide with me. Communication. What can I say? This word stands alone. You must be HONEST. This goes for everything you do. I cannot tell people enough that they should be open about their HIV status. You can have safe sex with a person who is positive and never get HIV. You should always protect yourself and you should know about safer sex practice. People lie, you should never trust a person who wants to have unsafe sex. You will only put yourself in risk and have to stress over the results of your next HIV testing. Letting a person know what your intent is, is very important. Do you want a relationship? Are you just wanting a f**k buddy? Or do you just wanting a one night stand? These things are important. Many people cannot separate themselves emotionally during sex. They get involved emotionally and want more. If you communicate what you want you can achieve what you hope or want. Never, and I mean, never tell a person that you will call them and have no intentions of doing so. Don’t use people to get what you want. Have you ever heard of the term “Pity F**k”. How would you like it if someone did that to you. Another side of things, is the feeling of being used. There is almost nothing worse than the feeling of been used the next morning. It is much better to be told the truth. Even if that mean telling them “no you will not be calling you“, but you should have let them know it before. Making love and f***ing are a wonderful thing. Sex has been known to be the most powerful element in humans; I say it is and we should all have fun in life and embrace this power. We should all have sex and enjoy the experience. Just remember to play it safe and protect yourself. This is the only body you have, respect it because your partner might not. Chastity Frustration First lady of the Ember Avenue Please visit www.chastityfrustration.com |
| Etiquette |
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