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| www.emberspdx.net |
| The Embers Online Magazine |
| CHASTITY IN THE CITY by Chastity Frustration |
I have been sitting at my computer trying to find something to write about. I thought about writing more about my trip to San Francisco, but that just seemed too gay. I don’t want to sound bad , but that is why I am not going to write about pride. With pride just ending I don’t really want to talk more about it. I feel as if I hear another pride song or see another rainbow my head will spin around and I will start spewing an assortment of rainbow colors. I love having pride and that is a daily thing for me. We seem to overload ourselves with the festivities. So what do I write about? That is the question. For the last few days my friends and I have been talking about what we were like in high school. This is a scary subject. Everyone changes when they get out of school. Don’t they? I know I did, but apparently that is not always the case. I was a normal child, well at least that is what I think. I was the child of a Conservative Baptist Preacher. I was always to be respectable. I other words, I was the worst child imaginable. I always seemed to find trouble. In high school I was called the school fag. How could that be? I was a good Christian child, I could not be gay. I was a little nerdish, dressed well, always proper, and was on my knees a lot. Ok, I was very gay. I knew I was going to get out of the small town that I grew up in and become something somewhere. I had no idea what I would do or where I would go, but I would get out. The school I attended was in the middle of nowhere and was surrounded by corn fields on all four sides. The population of the town was all of 1000 something. The town had one bar, three churches and two small markets. Every year in August we had the “Corn Festival”. (If that doesn’t scare you nothing I will say can from this point on.) Everyone would follow the parade to the park and get their free ear of corn and through the cob to the pigs in the pin. Are you getting the feeling? I was trapped in a world that I felt would not accept me for who I was. I rebelled in every way possible. I drank, smoked and stayed out late. I was dreaming of a better place. High school graduation could not come any sooner. I was going to be free. My senor year was the year that ballot Measure #9 was released. This made my year hell. Placing queers of all kinds in the center of the political view. The true faces of the towns people came out and the hatred they display was shown. I knew I need to leave. Shortly after graduation I moved to Portland. This is where I found me. The gay side, the queer side, and most of all Chastity Frustration. |
| CHANGES |
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