| CHASTITY IN THE CITY by Chastity Frustration past issues |
Have you ever noticed in the world of relationships, we have a tendancy to blame ourselves. When we finally get to a point that we stop blaming ourselves, our friends tell us that you have to find out what it is about yourself that attracts you to that type of person. Therefore placing the blame back upon ourselves, forcing a contentious flow of depression and self-blame. All to often we are told to look deep within ourselves, from the cookie cutter psychology force fed to us, by the shovel full, by almost all of the talk shows, from Sally, to Oprah, from the rednecks of the Jerry Springer show to the "Get Real" from Dr. Phil. We are real, we do have feelings, and yet all too often it’s not who we attract but those who are attracted to us. We sometimes are powerless to control who crosses our paths, yet we are powerful in the manner of which the course of our relationships and friendships begin, regardless of whether they are healthy or harmful. In the long conversations I have had with a good friend of mine, Nicholas Illusion, a simple statement came about, weather this statement is true or not, the point of the statement is to make one consider their value of love. "Love is a fallacy we create in order to lull ourselves into a false sense of security." With the putrification of my last relationship, I seemed to be reaching out to some close friends for advice and seemed to get the typical round of statements. So, as, a result, I reached for my "Therapy Flashcards" that were given to me by a friend a few years ago.The "Therapy Flashcards" are a deck of oversized cards with a psychological terms and definitions with examples of proper word usage. They allow a person to sound a little more evolved, or at least that is what the deck claims to do. Anyways, when I reach for a card for a little help and the card I drew was the most comical: "Affirmation: approval of another person’s statements, knowledge, or insight, expressed in order to encourage self-confidence or motivation : aphorisms: rhymes, or cursive phrases designed to heal via inner repetition : CHARACTERIZED BY : false cheer, glazed eyes, statement of the obvious, patronization : embroidery, framing, calligraphy, bumper stickers, talk shows, refrigerators magnets, false self-knowledge." This did not seem to help at all, it only re-enforced what everyone was saying to me. The truth Hurts!! In the depths of desperation, I talked to one of my ex’s. This seemed to go nowhere, forgetting that he has never really gotten over me. He pronounced his love for me over and over again. This leading me back to the "Therapy Flashcard." "Neurosis : a relatively mild psychological or mental disorder arising from unconscious, anxiety-inducing conflicts : this anxiety leads to the use of defense mechanisms, which ultimately producing the distressing rather than debilitating neurotic symptoms : CHARACTERIZED BY : the need for things to exist or transpire in a certain way in order to avoid anxiety : depending on the type of neurosis, neurotic behaviors may be marked by constant and irrational worry or fear, estrangement from the self, depression, hypochondria, histrionics, obsessive-compulsive tendencies, Jewish upbringing." I must say I have been cleaning the house a lot lately, worried about every little thing and I had a kosher hotdog the other day. Oh my, this has to end. So I sit back and look around my ever so clean apartment and wonder about what the future has to hold for me, in concerns to a relationship. I reach for the photo scrapbook containing pictures of most of my ex-lovers. Through the years, I have had many lovers come and go from my life. How much love I have had and still hold for each one of them and come to the realization that I will have much more love in my heart for another. I have just grown stronger as a person and can appreciate the next love to drop into my life and hope it will last longer, but still enjoy it for what it is worth one day at a time. Each tear that falls for my love lost is actually a single memory of happiness that I hold dear to my heart. Chastity Frustration First lady of the Embers Miss Sweetheart XIII Miss Gay Portland XXXI Visit www.chastityfrustration.com |
| THERAPY FLASHCARDS |
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