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| www.emberspdx.net |
| The Embers Online Magazine |
Life is a Journey I truly believe that life is a journey. That people come into your life for different reasons at different times…to teach you about yourself, to explore limits that are imposed by ‘the real world’ or by yourself, to open your eyes to different possibilities…different experiences. I also believe that our hearts are touched by different people…family, loved ones, significant others, friends….all giving us something to take on to our next journey. I look back at the people in my life…my parents, my brother, my drag queen friends, my lovers….every one of them left something special for me to grow from. I value each experience and think about how they shaped me, made me who I am today. It is coronation time once again and I started thinking about my year as Empress of the City of Portland. Hard to believe that I stepped down in 1999…it seems like only yesterday that I was making wonderful connections with new friends, raising money for the community, and having a blast. I think there are 3 times during my Empress year that really molded me into who I am now. The first one was the Sunday after I stepped up as Empress. It was October 1998 and it was the day of the Matthew Sheppard memorial service in downtown Portland. After brunch, my Emperor Norm and I went to the Silverado for a brief time then we made plans to go to the memorial service. I was nervous to be ‘newly crowned’ and have to make my first public appearance. We arrived at Pioneer Square, grabbed our regalia and headed for the service. I was overwhelmed with emotion at the outpouring of people holding signs, candles, etc for Matthew. My heart skipped a beat. I noticed that there was a little girl standing near me, just looking up at me. At that moment I had a decision to make….kneel down and talk to her or just let her look at me. I chose option #1. I knelt down and talked to her. She melted my heart. She just wanted to touch me, touch the scepter that was in my hand, touch my robe. For those precious moments, no one else mattered to me….it was just her and I….in a swirling sea of emotion and connection. I asked her (she looked like she was about 5 yrs old) if she understood what this all meant. She said that both of her mommies told her it was about someone getting hurt really bad and that it was not right. Again my heart melted. I’m still not sure how much time I spent with that little girl or if she even remembers me but I remember her. When I was done talking with her, I looked up and saw that Darcelle was standing right next to me. She turned to me and said “That is what it means to be an Empress in the city of Portland.” I never felt prouder to know that I touched someone’s heart and made a statement without really saying anything. Another moment happened later that year at Gay Pride. It was raining that year and it was time for the court to perform. I looked like a drowned rat but took to the very wet stage with gusto doing “Get On Your Feet”. I decided to go out in the audience and all of the sudden a child that was sitting in the front row got up and started to dance with me, then another, then another. By the time we got to the end of the song I had a conga line of kids behind me. It was great…we were all wet, laughing and taking bows to thunderous applause from the audience. When it was all done, someone asked me why I did it? I said why not! Those kids are our future and I want them to remember me and the special moment that we shared. The last moment came when I accepted the challenge to shave my head for charity. The underage performers found out about what I was going to do and held a fundraiser, “God Shave The Queen” to help raise money. I was so happy to see all those kids there, to hear the applause from everyone and the night of that show I made them all a promise. I would be back to show them what their time and money had done. They were the ones who put me over the $500 mark so that the shaving would happen. The night of the boat cruise on my step-down weekend, Patti O’Dora shaved my head in front of everyone on the Portland Spirit as we celebrated the Out of Town show. After my head was shaved, we gathered up the loose hair off the floor and after we docked I ran for a cab. Once I arrived at the Underage club, I was whisked inside and put up on the stage. They handed me the microphone and I apologized for being so late in getting back to them but I made a promise and I was not going to let them all down. I grabbed my wig, took it off my newly baldhead and showed them the bag of hair. I told them all that they had made it possible. There was such a huge amount of applause and people wanting to touch my head I could not move from the spot I was in. Now those kids who raised that money are over 21 and come into the Ember’s from time to time. They come up to me and say “I remember when you shaved your head for charity…what a wonderful thing you did”. All I can say is…wow…6 years later and they still remember that. Well I remember it too. All those memories…all the people that touched my life and my heart….made me who I am today. I look at the world with new eyes…looking for the good in people (still knowing that there is bad too) but knowing that we all can make a difference. The next time you are walking down the street…smile…think of the people in your life who touched you and made you the way you are today. I know I smile a lot when I think of them all. Until next time….. Krystel Belle-Rose |
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| TRUE CONFESSIONS by Krystal Belle Rose |
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