Style…what has happened to it? Ok so now comes the time when I am going to vent about some of the recent fashion trends that I see everyone wearing…. hang onto your hats…this could get ugly! 1. When did it become fashionable for girls with big stomachs to wear skintight barely fitting over their ‘do lap’ (I mean it is do lapping over their belt line) shirts and skintight jeans? (I don’t want to count the rolls unless I’m at the store and I’m picking up something for dinner) 2. When did it become fashionable for girls to wear jeans 2 sizes too small so that their ‘plumbers crack’ shows every time they sit down? (I really don’t need to see the color of your underwear…thanks!) 3. Why do girls wear jeans that are sooooooooooooo tight and too small that they pull on them all the time and complain loudly on the Max or bus that they just don’t understand why they can’t sit down or breathe? (Um…hello…I can tell you why…. your ass is too big to squeeze into a size 0…give me a break!). 4. Why do older women (in their 40’s or later) think that wearing mini-skirts and crop tops with the wrinkled skin of their stomachs and arms flapping in the breeze? (They look like Sharpei’s sitting in front of a fan and the skin is moving around…not so cute!) 5. When will clothing designers make clothes that fit real women’s bodies? The last time I looked around most women (I’m not talking the 14 yr old models that model the clothing…I’m talking women) have hips and boobs. Give me a break! I’m not 14 any more and I have curves…I want clothes that fit my hips and my waist at the same time…I don’t want to have to get the waist altered on every pair of pants that I buy. 6. When did jeans and high heels become fashionable again? That is so 80’s… 7. And speaking of heels, I know they are cute and make your legs look great but ladies, ladies, ladies…please learn to walk in them…it is not cute how you look trying to stroll down the street in your “I’m hot and I know it” look but walking like a truck driver because your feet hurt. 8. Can we talk about open toed shoes…if you have ugly feet or nasty nails…PLEASE DON’T WEAR OPEN TOED SHOES! I really don’t want to see those nasty things hanging over the edge of your cute sandals. If you are going to wear open toed shoes, please clean up your toes…a little buffing and some nail polish do wonders for making any nasty feet look a little better. 9. And can someone explain to me why when a person is wearing flip flops (back in my day they were called thongs) that you have to drag your feet…that constant noise makes me want to turn around and deck you. PICK UP YOUR FEET! (God I just sounded like my mother…WOW!) 10. Now as for the men out there…there is a wonderful invention called a belt…yeah you know what that is right…then wear one! Watching you pull up your pants every 60 seconds because they are way too big on you is not a sight I want to see. 11. And I thought the ‘thug’ look was gone…but I guess I’m wrong…you know when you get on the Bus or the Max you draw attention to yourself…maybe that is what you are after…and they way you talk…do you think you are going to get a job with that mouth? I most of the time want to smack the snot right out of you and ask you to be at least respectful of those around you but I won’t…how do I know you are not packing some heat in those big baggy pants…hmm…call that statement whatever you want to call it but that is how I feel. 12. Can you tell me who, other than loggers, wears suspenders? And really what do suspenders do other than make you look dorkier than you already do? “Poindexter’s the name and a pocket protector is my game.” 13. Spandex should be outlawed in all 50 states! Even on the super skinny girls it is really not that cute…then add into the mix the 300 lb women who wear it with a crop top and I wanna loose my lunch! 14. Can someone tell me why all women’s pants are so tight around the crotch area that we all end up having a ‘camel toe’? I’ve tried to move things around down there with no luck so any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Until we meet again….stay and play safe. Rose Empress XLI Krystel Belle-Rose |
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| TRUE CONFESSIONS by Krystal Belle Rose |
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